GambleGuard

How to help someone with a gambling problem

By the GambleGuard Editorial TeamUpdated 7 minute read
The short answer

To help someone with a gambling problem, talk at a calm moment, describe specific things you have noticed, and ask how they are doing rather than demanding they stop. Protect your own money, avoid paying off their gambling debts, and get support for yourself through Gam-Anon or the 1-800-MY-RESET helpline, which also helps family members.

Before you talk

Gambling problems often stay hidden for a long time, so by the time you notice, you may feel hurt, angry or betrayed. Those feelings are fair. A conversation is more likely to help if it happens when you are both calm, not right after you find a statement or a missing sum of money.

It can help to write down a few specific things you have noticed, such as money that went missing, time spent on betting apps, or changes in mood. Specific examples are easier to hear than general accusations.

What to say

  • Lead with care. “I’ve been worried about you, and I want to understand what’s going on.”
  • Describe, don’t label. “I noticed we were short on rent twice this month” lands better than “You’re a gambling addict.”
  • Ask open questions and listen to the answer, even if it’s partial.
  • Offer a next step together, such as calling the helpline or looking at treatment options.

Expect defensiveness or denial at first. Shame is a big part of gambling problems. One conversation rarely fixes things; the aim is to open a door.

What to avoid

  • Paying off gambling debts or giving “one last” bailout. It removes the consequences that often prompt change.
  • Lecturing, threatening, or bringing it up in front of others.
  • Trying to monitor every move. It drains you and rarely works.

Protect your money and yourself

  1. Separate your finances: your own account, your own cards, and passwords changed on shared accounts.
  2. Check your credit report for accounts you don’t recognize.
  3. Keep important documents and valuables secure.
  4. If you share a computer, install GambleGuard in Chrome, with their agreement, to block gambling sites.

Looking after yourself is not giving up on them. Family members of people with gambling problems often experience stress, anxiety and financial strain of their own.

Support for families

  • Gam-Anon runs free support groups for the family and friends of people who gamble.
  • The National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-MY-RESET supports loved ones too, and can refer you to family counseling.
  • If someone talks about ending their life, call or text 988 right away.

Common questions

Should I pay off a loved one’s gambling debts?

Generally no. Paying gambling debts often removes the pressure that leads to change and can keep the cycle going. Protect your own finances first, and talk to a counselor or Gam-Anon about what support looks like in your situation.

Where can family members get help?

Gam-Anon offers free support groups for family and friends of people with gambling problems, and the National Problem Gambling Helpline (1-800-MY-RESET) also supports loved ones, 24/7.

Need to talk to someone? Call 1-800-MY-RESET or text 800GAM for the free, confidential National Problem Gambling Helpline, 24/7. In a crisis, call or text 988.